The Looking Forward topic asks us to look ahead toward the summer and think about what we are really looking forward to this year; whether it be visiting relatives, camping, sports, or perhaps just basking in the sun. What will make summer 2010 a memorable one?

Time for a fun little topic about America’s favorite pastime: Video Games.

Write a video game review, a top 5 games list, or perhaps even a story about how video games affected your life in some way.

So how was your recent trip around the sun? Just another year? Le-gen-dary? Cant wait for January?

Hollywood can’t seem to get enough of vampire films these days.  So I guess it’s time for itwillfail.com to jump on the wagon.

So for the next few weeks we’re looking for your best vampire and ghost stories, or any ghoulish tails regarding encounters between the living and the dead. 

Like the mischievous spirit that lingers in the night rattling chains and moving objects, the spirit of ItWillFail lingers long.  So you thought we were extinct, well... we’re baaack!

Love us or hate us, you cannot escape that deep, down inner urge to jot down a thought, a creative incite, or a short story that’s been rolling around in your head for the past two years. Now you have no choice.  You are rapt in our tractor beam.

To celebrate our return, take this opportunity to write about the most horrifying experience you’ve ever had, or simply make something up.

This issue is about self improvement - diets, exercise, reading, education, good will, hard work, all you can be!

What rules do you live by? What makes you happy? How does your mood impact the people around you?

My, Myself, and I may seem like a selfish title, but it is far from that. Becoming a better person impacts the people around you in more ways than you may realize. Time to share your ideas, experiences, and reflections on Me, Myself, and I.

With all the tension around the world and in these times of mud-slinging debates, perhaps we should all just sit back and share a good laugh.

It’s a Hoot! is all about letting loose and getting silly. Write about crazy things you’ve witnessed lately or strange thoughts in your head...and if you can’t get away from current events, then fine - write about that politian who’s nothing but a hoot!

It is in your best interest not to udnerstand the meaning of this issue. It makes no sense - either should your story.

you’re sitting by the phone, waiting for it to ring. You’re driving outside her apartment. You sulk. There’s a picture of her on the passenger side, and all you can think is...

Is she going to write for the site again?

Maybe she’s moved on, or maybe she’s waiting for the next best thing. But does myspace really love her like you do? I don’t think so....

and just when you leave for the bathroom..

ring....ring....ring.......

Time to loosen up, sit back, kick off your shoes and get ready for Itwillfail.com Insensitivity issue.

...Cause life is too short to sulk. So you live in your car, got nasty lookin teeth and don’t gots no money. Hey....either did Jewel ten years ago, and look at her now; you know, besides the teeth thing.

Let’s poke a little fun at ourselves for a few weeks, write a few things down...and see if they all laugh with you, or laugh at you. Just be prepared for a little insensitivity.

Let’s face it. The Tivo has 40 hours of TV on it, and you have maybe half an hour a day to devote to it. The Internet is full of billions of pages of interesting stuff - and that’s just the porn parts of it. Millions of people put their otherwise dynamic lives on hold to watch B-list celebrities learn how to tango.

But it’s more than that: our ability to control the information we receive and process is shaping our subjective perception of reality. If you don’t agree with a study that says one thing, you can google around until you find a study that says another. "Personalized news" means that you never have to worry about current events that, well, you don’t want to worry about.

Is the information age changing us for the better, or worse? Is it possible to be overwhelmed by media? Is there such a thing as too much TV? When the hell are they airing the next new episode of Lost, for crap’s sake? Why do we care?

You have a memory tucked in the back of your mind when you looked into another’s eyes and your heart seemed to flutter like a free flying butterfly. You were a teenager and had an assignation with someone you had a crush on, and before you knew it, after a buoyant tête-à-tête where you revealed your deepest, most passionate secrets, your lips touched another’s for the first time. Love was in the air, and, no matter what efforts you made, you could not get this person off your mind. Now, years later, even though you have both moved on, you still have that indelible memory. Or, perhaps that person is lying in your bed as you read this. Or, perhaps, after that first glance, that first kiss, you debated with your inner self, took a stroll in the park, sat down in the soft, cool grass, plucked from the ground a daisy, removed that first pedal, and spoke softly, "Loves me, loves me not." Now, you wonder, what’s she doing now.

This is your chance to share your story, be it one of your own memories or one you simply made up. This might be easier for some of you, especially you ladies who tend to be more open with your feelings; but even you guys have a romance story to tell. Now is your moment to stop and remember, to share your romance, your tryst, your love lost or your love gain, for better or for worse, with us at ItWillFail.com.

We think most people have been dooped at one time or another by someone they thought they could trust, whether it be a spouse or parent or sibling or friend or a lover or ex-lover and/or their dog, etc etc etc.... It’s a topic that strikes a nerve with most people

Would we lie to you? Maybe. Would you lie to us? Hopefully you will.

Don’t forget - Valentine’s Day is coming up. But we can’t help you with your anniversary, your half-birthday, or your girlfriend’s dog’s birthday. We don’t remember any of ours, either. This issue, we celebrate those times when we’re offensive not for want of sentimentality, but want of proper time, attention or memory. We celebrate all those times you stood in line at Best Buy on Christmas eve, or the cards you bought at CVS in between the ceremony and the reception, or the chill that goes down your spine when you hear the words "You know what today is, right?" We feel your pain. Now feel us.

No, we haven’t run out of ideas. Yet. This next issue is a testament to the philosophy that sometimes the best plan is no plan, the best thing to say is nothing at all, and the best way home is to be at home wherever you are. We haven’t gotten all zen nihilist on you, we just want you to think about all of the "E: None of the Above" answers that life implies.

The "No Idea" Issue. Sometimes the best idea... is... you get the idea. Or lack thereof.

First, watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=zLElfJ9YCh0

At least two or three times.

Then let it inspire you to write about it. Write about lazy sundays, Narnia, dropping Hamiltons or sneaking food into the movie theater (mr. pibb + red vines = crazy delicious).

Narnia is big:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060103/ap_on_en_mo/box_office

And this rap will be bigger:
(okay just as big)
http://www.boingboing.net/2005/12/19/snl_short_chronic_of.html
http://www.slate.com/id/2133316/fr/rss/

What dirty little secrets are you holding on to? Are you really humming Karma Chameleon and trying to pass it off as Where Da Hood At?

Jimmy Buffet and Love, Actually. Yup, those are some of mine. And if you were to turn my XBox on without a game in it and look in the music section, you might find a whole playlist called Guilty Pleasures.

If you aren’t feeling brave enough to bare you guilty pleasures, try our new Psuedonym feature, where you can show up as someone completely made up. Be the Mark Twain, and not Samuel Longhorn Clemens. We’ll understand.

No, we haven’t turned into a porn site. (Yet.) This time, we’re going after your worst fears - the things you have nightmares about. What do they mean? Why do they have them. What are we so afraid about? Write about the things you’re most afraid of. The times when you’ve been most embarassed. Or just the times you’ve been nude in school. and, nightmares come true: http://www.darrenbarefoot.com/archives/002625.html

here’s what one authoritative source has to say:
"Example: if a person dreams of going to school naked, it may mean in one person that he/she wants to disclose certain secrets to others while in another person it may mean that he/she is experiencing a lot of anxiety and in still other people it may mean the dreamer is ashamed or proud of his/her body, and on and on."

Have at it. If you haven’t written for us in a while, come back strong. We miss you.

http://www.mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap15/chap15u.htm

Think back to your childhood and remember how you coped with those days when there was nothing better to do. What stories and adventures did you and your friends make up? Maybe you still have a little imagination left...

Write a new story or recall one from the past. It’s make believe time.

People, Take a minute, no, take two, and think about all the things you have to be thankful for. Think about the times you’ve really felt like you’ve been blessed, or at least lucky. Then tell us what you think about that. What is it about your life that makes you gracious? Should everyone be more thankful? Do you like Turkey? Have you ever had fried turkey? Have you ever had a family thanksgiving moment that was embarassing or funny? That sort of thing. Bust out on thanksgiving, the holiday and thanksgiving, the act.

In honor of National Freedom of Speech week, we write. Why even have a
Freedom of Speech Week? Why is this something that needs to be
commemorated? Isn’t the ability to engage in open discourse and make
public statements something so pervasive as to not need to be
remembered? Do we live in a place that gives us, as Chuck D says,
"Freedom of speech, but’ watch what you say?’" What is "speech,"
anyway? Is wearing an offensive t-shirt speech?
http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/avp/cas/comm/free_speech/cohen.html
Is burning the flag free speech?
http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/avp/cas/comm/free_speech/texas.html
Is writing a computer program free speech?
http://arstechnica.com/wankerdesk/2q99/freespeech-1.html
Think about it. But more importantly, speak about it.

After a few weeks of doom and gloom, we all need a vacation. What is it about vacations that makes us refreshed and more prepared to face our daily lives? If we have such a compelling need to "get away," what does that say about our daily lives? What do the vacations you take say about you? This is the "Island in the Sun" issue, where we look at sunshine, happiness and no salt (no salt!) on the Margarita glass. Write about your favorite trip, your need to get away, or taking your traveler’s checks to a competing resort. Or you can just write about Weezer, that’s fine too.

The media isn’t just telling you what to think about anymore, it’s telling you how to think about it. Hard news isn’t seen through an open hole of raw facts and numbers; it’s told to you through the dusty lens of news commentary. Every once in a while, a reporter like Shepard Smith refuses to translate the news into bits and pieces of comments, and demands that you look - and don’t look away - from the hard realities of the world outside your door. This next issue, the "All the Perspective You Need" issue, is about those times in life when you cannot help but see the world with new and naked eyes. It’s about the times when you don’t need someone to tell you what’s going on. It’s about the times when you really feel as if you have things in perspective.

Have at it.

Ever feel disconnected? Like you’re watching the world go to hell in a handbasket but are unable to change it? Ever wonder what it’s going to take for massive social change? Wonder no longer. Delayed response times are hot topics these days as they become larger and more tragic. Maybe they’re creating a delayed societal response that will change the landscape of the country. Maybe they’re indicative of a disconnect between people and their communities, local and national. Maybe they’re representative of an increasingly complicated bureaucracy held up by technology that isn’t helping as much as it should. Our next issue will dig deep, way deep into those topics.

we’re back.

Let the battle of the sexes begin!

In this corner, we have Jimmy, in the hole-ridden boxers who keeps leaving the seat up.

And in this corner, wearing the granny panties, Mary takes 2 hours to get ready for breakfast, let alone anything else.

We know you have your differences - time to let it all out in the "Boys vs. Girls" issue.

Tired of reality? Yeah, things aren’t always exactly rosy and peachy keen in today’s modern life. Take a moment to sit back and tell us about your little dream.

Big or small, what does your Happy/Sad Place look like?

"If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all." -Mom

Sometimes when the children get a little out of line, it’s up to itwillfail.com to slap them in the face (softly, mind you) and change the tone.

So for the next issue, we ask that you "Say Three Nice Things". Tell us how wonderful the weather is, how kind your boss is, how thoughtful your significant other is, or was, before they dumped you, of course. Oh, there we go again.

Apparently you’re on your own this issue. Good Luck.

Be it true or not, the thought has occurred in some form or another to most of us at some point in time. We want to hear about it, and everything else that swirled around your mind.

Tell us your contemplations of life and death; of living and dying. Who has helped you in this journey we call life? Who has been there for you when you needed it the most? Who hasn’t?

We want to hear what you have to say. Come, help us with our next issue, Better Off Dead. However, first let me leave you with two sayings that can go hand in hand and make life and the living thereof more enjoyable:

Birth is the leading cause of death, or another way: If you are born, you will die.

Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to powerslide in sideways, smoking all fours, totally worn out, shouting "Now THAT was a great ride!"

You’ve grown up. You’ve moved on. You’ve found out that Santa and the Easter Bunny don’t exist. You’ve just graduated college, or become a parent. You’ve had Coke with Lime, or Diet Pepsi Twist.

Whatever it is that has happened in your life, you’ve passed the point of no return. And so has ItWillFail.com. You can’t go back, and neither can we. What next? That’s up to our authors. Browse further, gentle reader, and find out...

We now have a new feature, Editor’s Choice. This will be an ongoing feature, where editors (Tony and Alex) pick out their two favorite pieces for the issue. There are no real guidelines for this, other than we have to like them. We won’t play favorites, except in the quality of writing. Alex will also be going back and selecting one or two pieces from previous issues, as well.

So, you want to get Editor’s Choice slot? Write. That’s it. It doesn’t have to be long, it doesn’t have to be short. It doesn’t have to be personal or fictional or anything. Just good. Our estimation of good, but don’t worry, we’ll judge as fairly as possible.

Here’s your chance to do some soul searching and, more importantly, soul cleansing. Big or small, air out your dirty laundry and move on.

Here’s your chance to come clean about joyriding as a kid, making out with your best friend’s girlfriend, ripping a fart in front of class during a presentation, or mistaking a complete stranger for a friend and embarassing the both of you.

So come, read about our mistakes, have a laugh, nod understandingly, and move on with us as the ItWillFail writing staff presents... My Mistake.

Be it jaywalking, (minor) shoplifting, running a stop sign, or lighting illegal fireworks, we’ve all done something The Law would frown upon at one time or another.

Or, more innocuously, you might have listened to (and perhaps even enjoyed - GASP!) a Michael Jackson song.

Here are our stories of crime and punishment, of bad music or drunken debauchery. Good or bad, right or wrong, this is the Smooth Criminal issue, presented by ItWillFail.

Dedicated by Nick’s broken spirit.

Think 10,20, 120 years into the future. How will the world be different as far as technology, politics, relition... This is your glimpse.

"Don't Believe the Hype" is a Public Enemy song, and it was the inspiration for this issue. Hype is so prevalent in our everyday existence that it seemed like a great theme. And it was.

Then came this issue's chat, at 10pm on Wednesday, March 19th. The first missiles were fresh in the air at that time. From that point onward, the hype stopped and all the content coming in was war, war, war.

We couldn't help it, honestly. You'll see some articles that are half-hype, half-war, and some that are all war. But soemthing so shocking as Operation: Iraqi Freedom had to permeate this issue, and it has. Big time.

What you'll see as you survey the scope of the content of this issue is a mirror, I think, of daily life in America from St. Patrick's day 2003 and forward until the end of this conflict; all of our daily lives were diverted and we turned to our tv sets and watched, with shock and awe.

mtm

Whatever.

-mtm

We got the name for this issue from a song title, from a band called Scapegoat Wax. It's a funny song about losing everything, a twisted happy-go-lucky bottoming out story. Click here to see the lyrics.

We decided that we'd pretty much been a downer these days, and it was high time we did an issue about being happy. Thing is, we're not www.happygofun.com. We're www.itwillfail.com. So "Everything is Almost Fine" is about as happy as we damn get.

Life is often cruel and unfair. But it's just as often beautiful and balanced.

My point is, life has its ups and downs, but if you try and look at it as much as you can, it's really almost fine.

Think about it. What if it wasn't?

-mtm

The long awaited 'Yo Mama' issue was thought up by the stinky armpit region of Mike Murphy's brain as a insidious way to prevent any more whining and bickering about bi-partison, religious, and unaccomplished goals in your life.

"Boo Hoo", says I.

The 'Yo mama issue was created to bring a bit of humor to the site - perhaps some insanity - a chance to undress your mind and write about something that makes entirely no sense whats-so-ever. After all, this wasn't the "Your Mother" issue. It was the "Yo' Moma" issue.

And thus I must say, "Congratulations" itwillfail writers. You have all miserably failed again. There's more bickering and complaining that I can ever remember. And this is good. Because it is good to fail. It's a damn good up by the stinky armpit region of Mike Murphy's brain as a insidious way to prevent any more whining and bickering about bi-partison, religious, and unaccomplished goals in your life.

"Boo Hoo", says I.

The 'Yo mama issue was created to bring a bit of humor to the site - perhaps some insanity - a chance to undress your mind and write about something that makes entirely no sense whats-so-ever. After all, this wasn't the "Your Mother" issue. It was the "Yo' Moma" issue.

And thus I must say, "Congratulations" itwillfail writers. You have all miserably failed again. There's more bickering and complaining that I can ever remember. And this is good. Because it is good to fail. It's a damn good thing!

-yo' moma (awb)

this issue is the coolest! says Tony